This guy on bigmuscle has been chatting me up for a while now. I sorta blew him off because I knew I really wasn’t what he was looking for. That said, he was persistent so last week I finally relented. I could tell as soon as he showed up he was a bit disappointed. [1]Not enough to leave mind you but still. heehee Anyway, he grabs his ankles, we do the deed, and 2 hours later we are lounging on my sofa laughing and cutting up.
He is getting ready to leave and he says it. "You weren’t what I was expecting but I had a great time." I already knew it and said as much. He was more than a little embarrassed I already knew. I said, "I told you already I didn’t really think I was your type." He goes, "what do you mean?" Never being one to mince words, I told him. "You read my profile and imaged I was some hyper-masculine blue collar meathead you could swoon over."
You could have heard a pin drop. I could see the truth of it written all over his face. I just kept laughing. "Dude, I tried to tell you but you wouldn’t listen. You had this image of me built up in your mind and nothing I said was going to change that." I spent the next 10 minutes reassuring him it was ok. [2]I gave him "I’m an opportunist" speech. He totally bought it. After he relaxed again and stopped trying to convince me he really had a good time, we started talking about perception vs reality. [3]Oh sure, I could have used another example but where is the fun in that?
He seemed genuinely interested so I gave him the full blunt treatment. I talked about the differences in our profiles before I finally said, "you are basically so bossy on your profile you sound like a bitchy bottom." To which he burst out laughing. He said, "OMG! my friends tell me the same thing". I said, "maybe you should listen" with a big smile. We laughed some more before he went on his way.
On a whim, I checked his profile again today. To his credit, he has totally changed it. He added some normal pics of what he really looks like and took out some of the "bitch".
The moral of the story? Never ask a Southerner for his honest opinion. He will tell you.
I can’t stand reading bitchy profiles. It makes the people seem like horrible people to date. I am glad you encouraged him to fix his profile.
In my opinion, the worst are the ones that list so many things they will not put up with. It just makes them seem bitchy, picky, and all around hard for others to get along with.
I love your Moral of the story. That’s true about Southerners. We can be bastards with the brutal truth… but at least you know where we stand! 😉
Negative laundry list profiles are The Worst.
Came over and grabbed his ankles?
So you guys were stretching out? ….so to speak….
You had me at “he grabs his ankles”. I felt a little twitch. :)Wish I could have been there to greet him to see his facial expression. Hey let’s play some bait and switch games. You lure them in and I’ll do the “deed”.
What was he expecting? Your body is like that of a Greek God.(ex: previous pic of new tattoo)
Huh. And all this time I had you pegged for a queeny bottom.
🙂
and here all this time, i thought it was the virgo in me. ah, it’s the southern in me.