I didn’t mean to imply I was cutting ties w/TFA or even ending it completely in my last rant. I was sort of brainstorming and kicking stuff around. I haven’t made any real decisions yet but I have gained some perspective. Many of you offered wonderful heartfelt advice and I greatly appreciate that. I sincerely listened to each and every one of you. I’m not doubting his feelings but his ability to have a healthy relationship, right now.
Being an Aquarian, I tend to wanna fix things and I always seem to end up in situations where I’m expecting myself to resolve other people’s problems. I’m realizing I can’t. Some things just have to resolve themselves.
My last rant had more to do with me realizing things are not hunky-dory between TFA and I. I need to consider the possibility that our timing sucks. I’m also beginning to wonder if my involvement is holding him back. [1]Lets face it, I can come on pretty strong. I know color you surprised right? I wish I could say more but that would mean disrespecting his wishes and I can’t do that. I think if I did it would make more sense though. I’m just wondering if my distraction adds to his stress load sometimes. That would severely upset me if it did.
Irony, TFA called right after I finished my rant. [2]No, he doesn’t read my blog After our conversation, I didn’t feel the pang of loneliness that usually comes with knowing I won’t seem him for awhile. I’m not really sure what that means just yet. It could mean I’m pulling away from him. It could also mean, I’m worn out at the moment.
In the end, I’ll always be his friend and no matter how it turns out, he’ll remain in my heart. That is enough for me right now.
Ah…Moby. Another Aquarian here. Big plans for your birthday? 🙂 I’m having some friends from NYC and Virginia fly in for the weekend.
Not to throw a cliché at ya –
“To Thine own self be true”
It keeps me going….
When it comes to matters like this I say take the past of least resistance. Brad and I have been at it for seven years now and we’re not stale in the least! People have been asking me lately how we do it. My answer is, “When something’s fun you don’t want to stop doing it.”
Your head and your heart are fighting right now and the best thing you can do is to be true to yourself.
Meh. Sorry to hear about the relationship implosion. Perhaps not implosion, but shrinking and transitioning….
meh.