I haven’t mentioned TFA much lately. Well, things are going well. As I mentioned, he is coming up on the 22nd to spend 4 days with me. Besides the non-stop sex we’ll be having, it will also give us a chance to see how we interact on a day-to-day basis.
We crossed a hurdle of sorts this past week. He has been very guarded about his emotions and feelings toward me. Don’t get me wrong, when we are together I see what he is feeling on his face. [1]I totally dig that I can read him too! I’ve known all along how he feels however, this week he finally said it out loud. One, he admitted he has feelings for me and two, he said he missed me. Of course, I melted like butter. LOL (I know, don’t go all mushy on ya. hehehe.) It has been awhile since I felt this way so pardon me for basking in the glow.
The weird part is now I’m scared one. Before, when I wasn’t really sure where things were headed I wasn’t. After our rough start, I guess I kept half expecting he’d change his mind and fly away (pun intended). Now that he has admitted his feelings to himself and me, I find that I’m nervous. It took me almost 2 years to fully come to terms with the breakup with my ex. And several bungled attempts since, I find myself wondering if I’m ready. The one good thing about the distance between us is it prevents me from coming on too strong. I have to laugh here. I know myself pretty well now. I can be an intense mother fucker when I totally let go. [2]I know, color you surprised right? I also know for a fact if I had pushed him, TFA and I would not be on this path right now. The weird part. I haven’t felt the need to push him. I’ve said from the beginning I want it to be right between us for the right reasons. To my delight, events have conspired to just that end so far.
Yeah, I’m scared. Yeah, I’m nervous. Am I so foolish as to turn my back on the opportunity. Hell to the no! If you’ve learned anything about me in the last 3 years, you know I don’t pass up an opportunity. Scared or not, I’m not about to back out. I’ve worked hard at being the type of man I’d like to date. Now that I’ve found one I would like to date, it is time to put up or shut up!
Switching gears for a moment. Everyone keeps asking for a picture. Yes, I’ll try and get some this coming week to share. No, not THAT kind. Several of you have been chopping at the bit to see “my type”. [3]I don’t really have a set type. Different guys do it for me for different reasons. Oh, and I created a new sub-category under dating to track things with TFA.
Wish me luck? Or am I just crazy?
I think you have to be a little bit crazy to date. There are many opportunities to get hurt, but we do it anyway on the off chance that we’ll fall in all. The processs is worth it, of course, but what completely sane person would risk the heartache?
Er, “on the off chance that we’ll fall in love”.
“Ive worked hard at being the type of man Id like to date. ”
I just came across this blog the other day and so far I have liked what I have been reading. Just before I left work today I read todays entry and I quoted the above passage which has really got me to thinking, in fact that is ALL I thought about on my home!! I was wondering what you did to work hard at being the type you want to date and how did you find this “one” that you may be dating? I myself have always thought about what I wanted in a relationship, what kind of man do I want to date, etc. It seems that lately all I get are the exact opposite of what I want, its like I “attract” the wrong one each and every time. I try to not do this but I guess in thinking about not doing this I am actually doing it, if that makes any sense!! So how did you become the man you want to date and how did you find the ONE?
You know, even as a third person sitting here reading your blog from the other side of the globe, I can still feel the sweetness in you while you typed that. 😀 It really seems like the TFA has a very special place in your heart.
I honestly think you’re handling the relationship very well. The babysteps (I know… plus lots of hot sex) might seem to slow things down so much, but in the longrun, I always find it works better and create a healthier foundation.
Thanks for giving me that warmth feeling in between meditation sessions.
If anyone deserves a great relationship it’s you. Good luck, he’s a lucky guy.
AzBearin ~ Too long a rant for a comment. I’ll post a new post to explain just that.
Oh yeah, another new sub-category. I been wishin’ you’d do that.
The key thing you said…that you’ve worked hard at BEING the type of man you’d like to date…is real key here. I learned about 10 years ago, after a couple of failed relationships and lotsa lotsa one night stands, that I had to learn to love ME before I could even begin to learn to love another.
It’s a lesson I still strive for everyday, but I’ve made tremendous strides.
Hope you two have a great 4 days!
awesome man. good luck.
james, the guy i dated last spring – ended when he got scared of how things were going. we started up again a couple of weeks and things are going really well – just letting it take it’s natural course. hard, but good.
congrats!
Enjoy yourself!!! 😆
If you’re scared and nervous, it means you like the guy. Keeping my fingers crossed that all goes well!