Ok, after the comments and personal emails yesterday, I guess I didn’t come across very well. Many of you were quite vocal in your desire to protect me. I’m honored and flattered. Truly, you make me smile.
My intention was not to force the flight attendant to choose between me or the other guy. It is his flip-flopping back and forth that had me riled up. He had indicated from the beginning his feelings for the other guy were luke-warm at best. So why the flip-flop then?
After going back to read the previous posts I’d written about him, I began to see why many thought the way they did. There are quite a few things I didn’t share here out of respect for him. Very private personal things that he is struggling with. It is some of these struggles that gives me the impression he is staying with the other guy for the wrong reasons vs the right ones. Of course, it is his struggle to do the right thing that makes me admire him even more. I harbor no resentment toward him. In the process, a couple of my own demons surfaced and needed to be properly exorcised as well (more on those later).
So my previous solution was not to give him an ultimatum but to hopefully, give him the impetus to make a decision. Any decision as long as he made it. If he chooses to stay with the other guy the reasons are irrelevant from my perspective. I just needed to make it clear I’m not content to be his go-to guy for the parts he wasn’t getting at home.
So, to finish the story (so to speak),he did not call last night. He has made his decision. I fully expected him not too. We spoke today and he knows I’d like to be his friend but at a distance for now (can you say sexual tension?). He knows where I am if and when things change with the other guy.
Yeah, I’m disappointed but I still feel like the good part of me won out over the insecure parts. As much as I wanted to push him into choosing me, I didn’t. I left it up to him to choose the best path for him right now. And if he does come back to me later, then it would be for the right reasons and the right time. So closes another short but dramatic chapter on my love life. hehehe
(you should be logged in to read the part where I worked out my aggressions)
well – for what it’s worth – I’m glad you are happy with your handling of the situation. I for one (and I bet I’m not the only one) never doubted YOU for a second.
XOXO
GBoogie
Worked out your aggressions? Is that what you call it? Whew. I need a cigarette.
It’s hard when something like this happens; and would leave just about anyone feeling insecure. But I want to stress that the way you handled all of this is laudable, beyond words. I admire that you’re such a principled person, and stick to your standards/values; even when strong forces/emotions tug in the other direction. Kudos!
Now that I’ve read some other stuff on your blog, I have a fuller understanding of the whole situation LOL But it was very altruistic of you to let out your frustrations in a manner which served the needs of both parties 😛
Moby, I do admire your mature way to handle the situation and know what you want. Sorry that it is hard to deal with it emotionally now. A good person like you will certainly deserve someone who really only wants you.