*Put your boots on, it’s gonna get deep today*
Well, it looks like the saga between M and I is coming to a close. We were supposed to hang out yesterday and he stood me up. He did text me afterwards to cancel. Something about he felt tired from his trip. That might have been ok had I not run into him just a couple hours later looking guiltier than a whore in church when he saw me. I figure either he doesn’t know what he wants or doesn’t want me and just can’t come out and say it. Either way, it was a defining moment for me. I’m done with trying to figure out his mixed signals and on again/off again interest.
I was annoyed and hurt all at the same time. Annoyed, because he was the one that suggested we hang out. I wasn’t me being pushy.1 We’ve talked a few times over the last few weeks but I’ve kept my distance. I was hurt because I’d been looking forward to seeing him all week. Maybe that is my fault but it’s moot now. For the record, the worst thing you can do to me is ignore me or push me away.2 I’m not into keeping stuff bottled up. And frankly, I don’t want anyone who is. In a way, I’m kind of glad it happened though. The situation has been weighing on my mind a lot lately. At least now, I can let it go and move on.
So once again, I’m left to examine my past and future and wonder is it worth it to try again? After the nasty fallout with my ex and the mind games of Bent Collective, is it really worth it?3 Each time I’m tempted to say no. It would be easier, I admit it. It would be easier to play the victim and wonder “why me?” or “what did I do wrong?” But life isn’t about the easy parts. It’s about the hard parts and how we survive them. And to say no now would be giving up on all the things I’ve tried to become in a man.
Well, I’m not ready to throw in the towel just yet.
2 Mental note to any future ex husbands out there. *g*
3 Even though, my ex and I are good friends now.
Damn it anyway. This kind of crap makes me feel terrible….and I can’t imagine how badly you feel. Really sorry. Take good care. Very glad to hear that you’re not ready to throw in the towel. Excellent.
I’m so sorry to read that M stood you up, Moby. *big hug*
Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and start all over again.
It still boggles the mind why guys have to make something up instead of just saying outright, “Look, I don’t think we’re working well together.” first they’ll lie to you to get what they want, then when they’ve had it, they’ll lie to you to “not hurt your feelings.”
As being recently stood up for a date myself, don’t put too much effort into it Moby. Like Donnie said, dust it off, and keep on going.
You need to quit acting like a gurl. How many times does he have bitch slap you before you stop play the fool. People who want to be with you, do just that. So you can keep dancing the dance or move on. Live your life. Who are you Judy Garland or what… Life is sweet so get that pickle out of your mouth. The reason it didn’t work before is the same reason it isn’t working now.
Actually, the first time was my fault but I owned up to that.
Sorry to hear / read this. I hope you talk to him and just be blunt and ask him what gives? You seem pretty honest and upfront so I would use that to see what he says. Don’t back down and take garbage for an anser.
I guess I may be a little worked up but I don’t like this crap. Bent Collective…?
Wow. You got a big blow off. I would be majorly PISSED OFF. There would be hell to pay fore sure.
Boo… next time… stop chasing guys that are unattainable or challenging. I know it is the thrill of the chase. But… if you keep getting disappointed… it’s your own damned fault.
Go out with someone who is going to be a “fan”. Someone that absolutely adores you. Those make the best boyfriends. Anybody that gives you fits and mixed signals from the getgo, needs to just be downgraded to “friend only” and taken off the “boyfriend potential list”. It’ll be glad later in the long run.
The lesson is to identify the red flags, and mind them earlier the next time around. If he doesn’t want to spend time with you, or call to check in to hear your voice even if he can’t meet, that’s a big red flag. No judgment here…I’m guilty of doing the same thing myself on many more than one occasion. Consider that now you’ve just made space for Mr. Right to arrive!
Moby…I have to agree with Gavin’s red flag comments. And you know, that crazy Cajun’s last comment (someone who is going to be a fan), ain’t half a bad idea either. Just go along with your daily activity and more than likely when you least expect, someone is going to plain ‘knock you over the head’ with a WOW!
Hugs.
Sorry Moby. Big hugs. Keep on keepin’ on.
ah, the good ol’ text message flake. And he texted you AFTER he stood you up. Sorry to hear that happened to you. You deserve much better.