So after my big realization and then spilling my guts to M the other day I’ve been a complete basket case. I can’t get him out of my head. Every time my damn phone beeps I jump to see if its him. God, do I reek of sadness. What was I expecting? After my big confession he’d just jump right back into my life and everything would be hunky-dory? In a way, I think that is exactly what I was expecting. Well, my heart was but my head knows better. And let’s face it, patience has never been one of my better virtues.1 My buddy Terris from work was completely blown away today. He said he’d never seen me so “unsettled”. Unsettled? I told him to “blow me”. lol
I can’t help it. I’m naturally aggressive and when I want something I go for it.2 I also tend to obsess when something is on my mind. The good news is I’ve learned to wait before I acting on irrational impulses. That doesn’t prevent me from whining about it here though. He left today to go out of town for a whole week on work. Which is probably a good thing as it gives me time to clear my head. I guess deep down I’m afraid I might have blown it with the one guy who wanted me for the right reasons. Oh won’t that be a wonderful “life’s lesson” for the blog.
In slightly less depressing news, I got an email from brettcajun‘s friend Rich the other day. He has a two day layover in SF from Dallas and wants to hang out. He wants to see some of the tourist attractions here so I’m sure to be busy this coming weekend. Nothing like one sexy man to distract you from another? I’m kidding of course. I’m trying to make light of my jumbled head right now.
Oh, and I installed yet another plugin for the blog. It works with the “more” command when I post really long winded rants. If you get an error, just reload the page and all should be back to normal.
That’s it kiddies. I’m off to bed as I have a early session w/the trainer tomorrow.
2 Or so I keep telling myself.
Annoying as it is, it’s emotions like this that remind you that you’re alive. *hugs*
I ditto JoeInMI’s comment. Oh, that alive feeling. . . . if only it doesn’t kill us in the process!
Go easy with your heart. I believe that Honesty is not the best policy, it’s the ONLY one. The truth sets us free. Tell him, but offer cautions about moving too fast.
You write so well and share so openly. Sounds like you’re in touch with a lot in your own life. Go with your gut (or other parts, thereabouts).
Cheers, Joe.
God. You remind me so much of myself. Emotional coon ass simmer down! Play hard to get. I have chased away many men when I set my target on them. (lol!)
Yup, the boys above are right…..all a part of this whacked out, crazy, up and down thing, we call life. Sounds like you have a huge heart that needs some lovin! And that, my friend, is a great thing. Keep on working it!
LIVE LIVE LIVE! Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!
I’m responding here only because of the title. Hurry Up Already is what can’t happen this time. “You Can’t Hurry Love,” etc.
You finally open up to each other after all this time, with the extra level that you both think it wouldn’t have worked after meeting #2; your heart and your head are all ajumble; and the other main character leaves town for a week.
This is classic; it’s got to be some kind of test. And, sucks to be you, it’s a test of your patience. You said it’s not one of your better virtues; it has to be this time.
“I guess deep down Im afraid I might have blown it with the one guy who wanted me for the right reasons.” Did you tell M that? If not, please do, ASAP.
You’re so strong in so many other areas of your life, Moby, you can wait for something this important. Tell him that one sentence, let him know how important this is to you, let him know how important he is to you, take a deep breath, back off and wait. You can do it.
Moby, good luck with the relationship situation. Take advantage of him being out of town.
I hope everything else is going well…. 🙂