I had a really good date last night with the guy from Sacramento. He made me smile, laugh, and blush. All things that make a successful date in my mind. He is/was very sweet and strikes me as a very sincere and genuine man. He also has a fondness for Ab-Fab which got him instant brownie points. If he lived here, I could easily see myself going out w/him on a regular basis to see where it would go. We both know that isn’t a good idea considering neither one of us has much free time. He is also in school. He is studying to be a Nurse. His schedule is just as crazy as mine right now.
So, I’m all happy about my successful date and guess who I run into? M. All my good feelings vanish and I feel guilty now. I know that’s irrational as I haven’t done anything wrong. I also was up front with the Sac. guy about my dilemma with M. Of course, knowing something doesn’t always make it so. Seems like M and I bump into each other more and more these days. Fate? Fuck, I don’t know but it’s driving me crazy. I know one thing, I can’t keep doing this. I can’t split myself between two people. As much as I enjoyed hanging out with the guy from Sacramento, it wouldn’t be fair to him or me to try and pursue something right now. Not until this situation w/M has resolved itself. That won’t happen for at least a few more months so I have my work cut out for me. I have the hardest time saying no to someone when I know they are into me. I admit it, I enjoy the attention. That said, I am a grown man and if I’m gonna learn from my previous mistakes it is time to step up.
Time and patience (which you said you were not particularly good at)…..once step….slowly….carefullly…..distance isn’t that big of a problem….many have dated with the distance issue. And the M situation definitely must resolve. I’m just plain old happy and giddy that you’re having a good time.
Honey, in case you haven’t noticed, time doesn’t wait for anyone. Don’t be too patient.
Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. You only had one date with Mr. Sacramento so you don’t have to decide to move in together. Just date and enjoy. The distance can work to your advantage. Take it as it comes, and if Mr. Sacramento if “the one”, your decision will make itself.
You said it, you did nothing wrong. You cant’ stop living to wait for “what may be”. In the end you need to live your life and try not to regret anything. Big Bear Hugs.
Shit man. Just have fun. Let life tend to itself. “It” will happen when it happens. The more you worry the more neg energy the more you attract neg energy. So be happy.
From reading your blog I can tell that you’re really a nice guy and wouldn’t do anything in the world to intentionally hurt anyone. I say just enjoy being the awesome guy that you are and see what the future brings you. When life is ready for you to settle down I only hope it’s with someone who deserves you.
Go forth and have lots and lots of safe fun!
Hugs!