My ride along today was pretty uneventful.1 I’ve settled into a good rhythm with the crew I ride with. They no longer feel the need to point everything out to me or even see if I know. If something big comes up, I ask or just take direction. We do the job and and still manage to have a good time of it. That said, I was rushed this morning and forgot my lunch along my clothing sheers. No biggie as they always have extra on board. However, we were kinda busy so getting a lunch break was tough. I ended up being the fortunate benefactor of an ER nurse who brought a grilled chicken sandwich down from the cafe for me.2 I tried to be grateful w/o encouraging her. I don’t think I succeeded though.
I had forgotten it’s IBR (Internationl Bear Rendezvous) weekend. Well, until I got home and discovered all the bears descending upon the Castro. It was as if someone had kicked over an antbed full of “bears”. lol I’ve been told recently because of my newish facial hair, I qualify as a bear or some other moniker I can’t think of at the moment. I don’t really feel like a bear. I didn’t do it to make the jump. I only mention it because it seems every year more and more “bears” develop an attitude toward the non-bears. As if you aren’t furry like a goat or your belly doesn’t protrude over your waistline, you are the enemy.3 Last year, a rather large queen had the audacity to say to my face, I wasn’t his type because I was too much of a gym bunny. We werent’ even in conversation. He just made a point to say it loud enough I could hear. Sad in my opinion but not completley unexpected. I think the bear community formed in part due to larger folks being shunned by the “pretty boy” crowd.4 So now, they’ve become the very thing they oppose? Ring any bells? It should.
I try not get get annoyed by the stupidity of a few but it does get tiresome. I get sick of all the in-fighting in our culture. The butch vs the fems, the neg vs the poz, the buff vs the bears. It doesn’t have to be that way. Not everyone you meet is an asshole. Some of us are quite nice. This year, I’m hoping for better.
2 I discovered recently she has a big crush on me. Lord, is she in for a heart ache!
3 Obviously, I’m over generalizing to make a point. I know plenty of “bears” here who are very nice. I boinked one just last week. *g*
4 I’m not now nor have I ever been a “pretty boy”.
Ah…..labels. If the general society at large doesn’t label us, we end up doing it to ourselves. I hate that the gay community pigeonholes us.
Have a wonderful weekend, Moby! 🙂
Excellent post, Moby. I agree with every word. Labelling people is where all intolerance begings.
“begins” … It’s early. I haven’t had my coffee yet.
Someone called me a bear recently. That surprised me because I just feel like I’m me, not a label.
So sorry to hear he said that to you. Maybe he came out of hibernation a little early and was grumpy.
Sadly, the “bears” aren’t what they used to be.
And you know I have no shame, so I would have walked up to that guy and said “Good thing, because you’re not my type either. I don’t go for assholes.”
agree agree agree
While by the standards of most (realizing that most does not equate to “right”) I qualify as a bear, I still feel a bit “out”. I carry about 25 lbs too much for my size/frame. So I’m clearly not as big as many of the bears around. But I’m often not accepted b/c I’m too “small”. But those extra pounds preclude me from the “buff” crowd.
It’s a good thing I think I’m “just right” at being me!
Maybe I change my name to GoldiCocks? 😉
I wonder if a mid-40s skinny white guy qualifies as a Bear? Maybe I should have come down for the big to-do.
Don’t you love getting unsolicited comments in bars and such?
Shortly after growing my goatee (back in the 1800s), someone I had never seen or met (let alone cruised) came up to me in a bar and said ‘that “beard” makes you look evil!’.
Without ever looking over at him I said “good – then it’s working!”