*I’m having a hard time articulating myself so bear w/me.*
I was faced w/an uneasy choice recently. While the details vary, it’s a choice I’ve made several times before, not always successful mind you. In a nutshell, it boils down to a tug-of-war that breaks out between my emotions and my reason. Emotions often win out. Not necessarily a bad thing however, the emotions aren’t always postive ones.
For those few long-term readers, you know self-image and self-worth are often my biggest demons to fight. Many of my choices in the past have been heavily influenced by said demons. The results of those flawed choices have often been disasterous. My last relationship being a spectacular example of that. Enter the blog. Many of you have witnessed my efforts(s) over the last two years to flesh out these problems and put an axe to’em. I know, I’m being vague but, like I said, the details behind my post today aren’t overly relevant and would only serve to stir up unnecessary drama. The point is I made a different choice this time. I went w/my reason instead of my emotions. Surprisingly, the fallout pain and regret I expected have yet to materialize. No, if I had to choose any one feeling, I’d say I’m feeling very liberated!
Instead of acting on irrational fears and old abandonment issues, I made a decision based on reason. I know it sounds odd but this really is a first for me. The decision isn’t what I originally hoped for but it is the right decision. And no matter how it turns out, I’m taking time to wallow in that just a little. *g*
So, uh…I guess I’ll ask you later. I’m a bit lost.
Congrats Moby.
For me, the better results are balancing between reason and emotion. The trick is knowing when.
For a moment I thought you said you were taking time to “swallow” it.
bravo to you! not to get all kabbalah on yo’ ass, but there is a connection about reactions and choosing not to react that i have been learning recently in my studies. keep up the good life work.