I was jumping around and stumbled over Joe-my-god’s post about pride. He makes a great point and a powerful reminder. I’ve already shared my thoughts on Pride celebrations but I felt the need to weigh in again. If you aren’t part of “the scene” or “into the gays” but still identify as gay, that’s ok. Just don’t bash the rest of us. I usually try to avoid using such terms as they are completely subjective. Often times referring to a very limited portion of gay culture in general.
The mostly white bread, self-haters over at the LCR would have us believe drag queens, leather daddies, circuit boys, punk queers, etc are the doom to our culture and rights. You have it backwards boys. If anyone is holding us back, it’s you and your conformist attitudes. You make the same mistake our straight counterparts make. I shouldn’t have to conform to your views just to have equal rights. I was born a human being. That gives me the same rights of any other human. Who I sleep with and how often isn’t part of the equation. I don’t need to ‘play nice’ to gain equal treatment.
I’ve always been an oddity unto myself. I’ve never really felt like I fit in w/any “scene”. I sort of lurk on the fridges of all of’em. I go to clubs/parties. I go to drag shows. I go to leather bars. I workout often. I’ve even been seen in a few goth clubs. I also go to sex clubs bathouses, etc. None of which defines me, I just happen to like aspects of each. Some might say, I’m the ‘typical fag’. Does that somehow preclude me from being able to share my life w/another man? Leave my wordly possession to who I choose? Or prevent me from being able to celebrate the hard-earned freedoms gained in the last 20 years? In a word, NO.
Our narrow-minded brethern have mistakingly assumed that by “fitting in” we can advance our cause. How’s that going boys? From out here, I’m not seeing it. Maybe you should spend less time worrying about us ‘freaks’, and more time trying to accept that not everyone wants to be a corporate logo queen.
As pride week approaches and parades all over the world march the cause, take a moment to look back on your life. The pain, the sorrow, the disappointment is not unique to one. Many of us have “been there, done that”. Rejoyce in your freedoms and in each other. I know I sure as hell plan to.
And I too will be doing that as well! Can’t wait!
The only way to get the pendulum to balance in the middle and offer eequality for all, is to make sure it swings back the other way and it takes the ones that are out there that are on the floats to help bring that balance back!
Straight culture has rodeo cowboys, polka dancers, strippers, and nuns. No one makes a fuss about their strange outfits and weird behavior. Gay people who hate “fems,” “drag queens,” and “leather guys” need to chill out.
Very nice, Moby! Well said.
I never understand the need to fit in the straight culture. Some gays, even the activists, believe that normalization, or assimilation to the dominant straight culture, is the end of inequality. I look at this in the opposite sense – the current argument on gay marriage has steered the wrong direction, completely.
Andrew Sullivan is one of the strong voices that argues for this marriage – he thinks the “good gays” will assimilate to the dominant culture through this institution of marriage, a public approval owing to homophobia. Instead of challenging the straight norms and the unbending heterosexual culture, Sullivan pushes for a marriage that brings about the perfect normalization some gays have always wanted.
Give ’em hell Moby!!! Party on
I’m a 24 year old guy who lives in a very tiny town hours away from the nearest city, which is also small. I’m the only out gay man where I live… truly “the only gay in the village”, to quote Little Britain. It’s not easy. Reading gay blogs is one of the main ways I feel a small part of a brotherhood. I don’t relate to most of what I read having never been in a gay bar or club etc. I often feel gauche, sexually and socially naive, and lonely. Yes, I do live vicariously, to a degree. My pride, in my own small way, is to be open about who I am in a place where there is nowhere to go to be a part of a visible group. I am having several straight friends over for a Pride barbecue at my house next weekend. That’s my way of celebrating my pride at being one of you.
Happy pride, Moby.
Cooper – I feel ya bro. I grew up in a very small town myself. I wasn’t the only gay guy but it felt like it and I didn’t know any different at the time. I never really had a chance to be out to the community. Then, I happen to meet a boy I fell in love w/only to have him taken from me after 4 short years. Never would have thought in my podunk town I’d meet another gay guy much less fall for him.
After moving away, I exploded into the gay “scene” at the ripe age of 18. Of course, there was no internet then so I had to find it the old fashioned way. *giggle*
Pride means a lot to me. My first pride parade was so overwhelming. I never knew so many other people were gay. It made me realize I wasn’t alone after all. I’m happy to hear you are celebrating w/friends. My hats off to you.