*I’m feeling a bit long winded today so you might want to skip this and just enjoy the purdy picture*
The click version is not work safe…
Ok, so I guess I wasn’t overly clear yesterday on my rant. I was at work and got distracted several times. I kept going off on tangents too. I was trying to articulate that I haven’t quite narrowed down the exact traits in men that I find attractive.
I don’t have a set type, that only serves to confuse the issue further. The pic posted was not my ideal guy. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I think he is HOT. I’d get down and worship at his “alter” as long as he’d let me. My point is fantasy and reality are two different beasts. Thinking someone is attractive doesn’t necessarily mean they are compatible. I can easily look at a man and think to myself, “I’d do you in a minute but I’d never date you.” And at first thought, that sounds very demeaning and callous. And before you fall off the deep end, let me explain. It’s not about a double standard at all. (for me anyway) Having learned the difference between my attraction to men and my compatiblity to men, I can easily find someone incredibly sexy but also realize we don’t have much in common otherwise. In the unlikely event, we did have more in common, I wouldn’t be opposed to exploring that.
Unfortunately, I hear the above comment from others but in a much more confusing context. One guy I know won’t go out w/a guy a second time if they have sex on the first date. I know, you’re saying WTF? His reasoning has more to do w/a double standard than realizing a lack of compatibility. Another friend, is a total horndog, like me, but refuses to even consider dating someone he meets as a booty call or in a sex club. Again w/the double standard.
So while I do have a variety of carnal tastes in men, I have a much narrower vision of compatible men. And let’s face it, I am not for the faint of heart. I can be overly intense at times. The scary part, it took me a long time to realize there was a difference.
Honesty, compassion toward others, a sence of humor, down to earth and being able to carry on a conversation. An average Joe works for me. They don’t need to have a fancy job, drive a great car or big house. Most importantly is for them to be themselves, don’t try to impress me.
I know exactly what you’re getting at.
In regards to type, I don’t think I have one either. I think most guys have elements, or common traits they view as attractive. I know for myself, guys that I find attractive in a physical sense all tend to be more on the conservative, clean cut side of things. It varies on the guy whether that takes on a more blue collar, or a more preppy feel. In all cases the look is very much a masculine, traditional, type look. The more hypermasculine imagery is, in my mind, not very masculine, as it screams at you to notice it instead of just being a solid presence.
I think the other point you were getting at was the subtle elements of what you find appealing. The way a guy carries himself, his responses, his comfort in his own skin. Those are all very powerful things that can have amazing sexual energy.
very hot man! You remind me of Ken over at http://www.gatorbears.com
I’d be inclined to join you at that altar. Hallylooya!
So, what do you consider attraction?
If you’re talking personality, I would say that Carol, a woman from Vancouver was my soul mate. I loved talking with her for hours and hours. WE totally thought on the same wavelength.
Now, if we’re talking sex, I can give a recent example. “J” is absolutely the wrong person for me. Below average on most accounts, he and I hit it off in the sack. Multiple times in a night and over the next morning. Things just felt right and we soon knew what each other likes 🙂
My point is that compatible doesn’t make a person you want to spend your life with…
So while I do have a variety of carnal tastes in men, I have a much narrower vision of compatible men.
This is totally a human thing amigo. I’m heterosexed (to say I’m “straight” would be somewhat inaccurate! lol) and totally relate, only w/the genetically requisite replacement of “men” w/ “women”.
What I really want is a person, whether utterly gorgeous or just plain attractive-to-me, who is someone that loves me as both a friend and a fuck-buddy; day in, day out, ’til death do us … yada, yada. Ya know?
I’m 40 now, and that’s all I’ve ever really wanted from a relationship. {sigh} Someday …
BTW, your blog has got a gorgeous entryway. Quitely so!